Just You Wait…

People just love to say “just you wait…” don’t they? Doesn’t matter what the conversation, if it’s to do with children there is always a “just you wait…”

Sometimes it’s like being with sodding Eliza Dolittle!

“She throws all her food on the floor!” “Just you wait (Henry Higgins) ’til she’s three!”

Newborn won’t sleep? “Just you wait (Henry Higgins) until she’s potty training and wets the bed three times a night!”

Baby won’t be put down? “Just you wait (Henry Higgins) ’til she’s mobile!”

Toddler having tantrums? “Just you wait (Henry Higgins) ’til she’s a teenager!”

It’s like there’s always something worse around the corner. A parent can’t have a little moan nowadays without hearing about what “horrors” await them.

I’ve been tempted a few times with friends that have new babies to say “just you wait…” but its a phrase that I’ve cut out of my vocabulary altogether because it’s just not helpful

telephone.jpgHow I wish now that Eden is a toddler that I had treasured the newborn days more. Instead of worrying about getting “stuff” done while she napped, I should have done more cuddling. Nowadays I don’t get to get “stuff” done because my mouth utters a never ending stream of “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” And “WHAT DID YOU JUST PUT IN YOUR MOUTH?” Followed by trying to fish something out of Eden’s mouth while she clamps her jaw down like some kind of dog and says “nooooo”. Or repeatedly “answering” the phone that she inserts INTO my face.

Fact is, though, I’ve realised that people don’t want to know what’s around the corner. Hearing “just you wait…” doesn’t help. It doesn’t make someone appreciate their position and it doesn’t make them feel any better either. People used to say “just you wait until she has tantrums” and, now that she does have tantrums, the fact that people said that makes no difference. I knew there would be tantrums. Everyone who has kids knows that there will be good days and bad days.

Don’t get me wrong. I miss my sleepy newborn – I do. I miss being able to plop Eden down in the Poddle Pod andskye go for a pee instead of having to fence her in her room and hoping she doesn’t scale the baby gate or the wardrobe or shout so loud that the neighbours think we are killing her or she’s being eaten by one of the dogs. But between all those frustrating moments are the amazing ones. Yes, she has tantrums. But, guess what? She talks. She says actual words. She says “mummy” and “mama.” Sometimes I can even get a “luff you.” She squeals when “Raw Roll” (Paw Patrol) comes on the TV and makes me crack up laughing shouting “DIE DIE! (Skye…) and “MOUSE!” (Mickey). The tantrums are a very small part of a little girl who is turning out to be amazing. I love every part of this child that Amy and I brought into the world – even her fiery, defiant streak and her ability to poop the second you get a clean nappy on her. It’s all part of what makes Eden our little girl – even if she does have an all out screaming tantrum with real tears because I won’t let her share my curry…

I’m sure one day I will miss this age too, because there will be a new set of challenges that are not better or worse, just different. New things take some getting used to and kids change every single day – sometimes I swear they do it just to keep us on their toes. Who knows what is round the corner.

I think we need to switch our phrases. Let new mums moan! Let veteran mums moan. Let dads and grandmas and aunts and uncles all moan if they want to. Sometimes things in life are worth a whinge and it’s good to get that out. It’s not the pain olympics here – telling someone who shared their woes with you how much “worse” they’ll have it in a year or so does not help. And in a lot of ways, it’s just not true.

So, when folk tell you how hard they are finding something, don’t say “just you wait…” Go right ahead and tell them you remember. Tell them it did suck. Tell them it will pass. And most importantly, tell them that they are doing a bloody good job. Because that’s what I needed to hear when things were frustrating me – that it would pass and that I was doing everything I needed to do.

Support your fellow parent, because we’re all the same really.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in 2017 and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Just You Wait…

  1. I abhor that phrase. Every stage has its struggles and every stage has its delights. And every child/parent combo responds differently to each stage. Hearing what a parent is saying and responding to where they are is more valuable than being a killjoy! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Lindsey says:

    Hear hear! It’s the same with pregnancy. I’m in the throws of third tri and getting no sleep because of terrible pain from SPD and bladder issues. Everyone says just you wait til the baby is here then you REALLY won’t get sleep. Newsflash, I know that. Still doesn’t help that the reason I sleep none now is because of pain and not because I have to take care of my child. I know I would much rather take the latter.

    • That used to drive me INSANE. Like what, are you supposed to open a sleep savings account? Doesn’t matter how much sleep you have whilst pregnant you’re still going to be tired with a newborn. That’s just how it is!

      Gah!

      Wishing you very best for a safe delivery. You’ll be fine and you’re doing an awesome job xx

  3. I have to say, having suffered quite badly with Post Natal Anxiety… I detest this very thing, also certain blogs that appear all over my feeds depicting a never ending annoyance at being a mother, referencing their children as ‘gits’ etc.

    ‘Just you wait till she’s walking and you are running after her everywhere, you’ll regret wishing her to walk then’ is the current shit I’m dealing with!!!

    PISS OFF people, just you wait till someone makes a remark to you that fills you with uncontrollable anxiety.

Let's hear your comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s