The Cycle that is Different

This month is not about trying to conceive. This month is not about making a baby. This month is not about OPKs or temperatures or cervical mucus or donations. There will be no symptom spotting, no hoping or wishing and no disappointment. This month is safe. This is our first month off since February. We’re stepping off the trying to conceive roller coaster for one whole cycle.

This month is different. This month is about Amy and I. This month is about having a life without worrying about peeing on things and when to inseminate. This month is about getting healthier, relaxing and just spending a notch being a couple.

We partly have no choice in this decision. Because of when I am due to ovulate, we will actually be out of the country and away from our donor at the time. But it’s all for a good reason as we are taking our long awaited, well deserved holiday to New York City!

So, what is this cycle about? This cycle is about sunshine, holidays, autumn leaves, good food and shopping. This cycle is about reconnecting as a couple and just being us. No stress. No disappointment. Just Amy and me.

As much as part of me is sad to be losing a cycle, the other part of me is so happy to have a cycle off just to poddle along without worrying. We’ll start again in November with fresh heads, a new AI kit and hopefully clomid. Fingers crossed those things will make the difference for us and our rainbow baby isn’t too far away.

I’ve come to the conclusion that as much as I really hate the phrase “it will happen” – seriously, it makes my blood boil! – I know that it will. I can’t guarantee that either me or Amy will give birth to our child. I can’t guarantee that I will ever get pregnant again. What I can guarantee, though, is that we will get our baby. Whatever it takes, we will. We’re only at the beginning of a very long road so there’s no need to give up or be scared yet. As a very wise fish once said, “just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

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9 Responses to The Cycle that is Different

  1. Erin says:

    You will have an amazing time on holidays, and you will enjoy yourself, and don’t you dare feel bad or guilty about it! You can’t make a baby if you’re stressed, tired, rundown and feeling horrible. Allow yourself this time to regenerate to start afresh. Just be careful with that damn American food, it’s just so good!! I would recommend ordering one meal and sharing it, they are so huge! Have fun, and I can’t wait to read all about your trip and further adventures when you get back…

  2. DeCaf says:

    I hope you have a good break cycle. 🙂 I’ve seen them really help people’s stress levels. I’ve found the TTC process to be a lot of stressful hurry up and wait.

  3. Sometimes a break (especially in my fabulous city ::wink wink::) is just what you need! Here’s to reconnecting! (and if you wanna get coffee, we’re available!)

  4. miku says:

    Have an awesome time! So lucky. You both really deserve this trip. This break seems like it came at the right time xx

  5. lesbemums says:

    Have a lovely break. Hope there’ll be pictures!

    We took a few breaks and it did us the world of good as you sometimes forgot why you started the whole thing sometimes with the amount of stress it caused.

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