Superhero donor offered to write a couple of pieces for the blog! I’m always hugely interested to hear the view of a donor of the whole situation, so this post will be the first of a short series by our very own, Superhero Donor!
Why did I Become a Donor?
I had no intention of becoming a sperm donor. The thought had never crossed my mind. Then one day I was on facebook looking at someone’s profile – a person I didn’t know, who had sent a friend request – when I saw they were a member of a group about home insemination. I was intrigued and had to look. I was shocked when I looked further to find there were many Facebook groups all with ladies desperate to find sperm donors. I had always assumed our wonderful,- and yes I do mean that – NHS had sperm donation and artificial insemination covered. Clearly I was wrong
I’m a lucky guy, I have three grown up children and I know how much pleasure, and a modicom of pain, they have filled my life with. My mind started to think. Could I help anyone? And would they want an older guy as a donor anyway?
My first concern was really physical, I knew I did not want to consider any form of intercourse. This was mostly due to a fear of not being able to perform, but as I progressed through my journey it also became clear that intercourse with a lady that had a life partner was not appropriate. I have no problem with anyone choosing to have multiple partners, but to submit to intercourse because the donor wants it appalled me. So, for me if I was going to offer to donate it had to be AI (Artificial Insemination). So, the question was could I wank into a small pot?
Most guys wank from time to time, but there is no worry about where the ejaculate ends up. After all, there is always a wet wipe nearby! But catching it in a pot is different. So, I felt that I should try it. Well, it’s not that easy! My first attempt was a total failure – wet hand, wet stomach but nothing in the pot! The second time I cut my penis with a sharp edge of the pot! But after a few tries I got the knack of nearing ejaculation, grabbing the pot and aiming straight. I felt relived that I could reliably fill the pot, safe to consider offering my services without worrying I would not perform.
So, I knew I could do it, but would I?
This is where the legal side of donation hit me. Was I setting myself up for huge maintenance claims in the future? Fortunately, there was a lot of information on the internet about this, and it became very clear that donations to single ladies or heterosexual couples would leave me with a risk of future claims even if a strong legal agreement was in place, but donating to married same sex couples or couples in a civil partnership did not. So, I looked again at who was looking for donors, and realised just how many of them were same sex couples. I realised I might be able to make a difference for one or maybe more of these couples. I could just appear, wank in a pot and that would be it.
I didn’t realise the ethical and emotional journey I was starting…
Keep your eyes on the blog for the next instalment! Many thanks to Superhero Donor for writing this for us and the world